"Don't judge me!"

For a Primalist, the changing "times", negociated by the collective id, represents a continual "emergence" of new expressions of primal desires that are continually being woven into the fabric of social acceptance and public space. Primalists place a premium on this emergence, and seek to nurture and protect this emergence from incorrect ideas from individuals and groups, and even from themselves.

There are many ways that Primalists protect this emergence of primal desires in society from notions and criticism that would hinder its progress. When a Primalist is faced with public criticism directed at his behavior, he will often say "don't judge me!". Speaking as the Primalist, "don't judge me" means that I, as the individual criticized, should be given the latitude to exercise my personal judgement in regard to what is right for me by being protected from you, the criticizer. On the surface, it appears that I, the criticized, simply want to protect my perogative to judge without it being violated by others. Dig one layer beneath the surface, and "don't judge me" is actually based on a world view that makes claims on the very nature of judgement.

"Don't judge me" is part of a dialogue ethic, which is a set of social rules that dictate how, if and when individuals my share their opinions with one another. Primalists have a low view of any persons attempt to judge apart from deferring to the wisdom of the "times" via the collective id and frown upon any person making public any judgements that deviate from the wisdom of the collective id. In this context, "don't judge me" is part of a Primalist dialogue ethic that says "no one should publicly criticize anyone with judgements that deviate from the times" -- I, the Primalist, should not be exposed to your judgements that deviate from the times, and you should not be exposed to mine. (I'm reminded of a porn star who, during an interview, referred to the clinic where she was tested every month as a "very safe place". What she meant by "safe" was that the people there were uncritical of her choice to be a porn star.)

Primalists believe that when an individual attempts to judge others, he/she assumes too much mastery over what is right and wrong. It is believed that when an individual assumes this personal mastery over what is right and wrong, it will necessarily lead to that person operating out of fear, hubris and ignorance -- if not his hubris, fear and ignorance directly, then the fear, hubris and ignorance of those he influences. It is understood that an individual's judgementalness, left unchecked, can spread like a cancer to become society's judgementalness (see the essay what would assholes do? -- WWAD). A Primalist who wishes to nip this judgementalness in the bud will say "don't judge me" as a way of enforcing a social contract that says that criticisms have no claim to public space and should not be made within earshot of the criticized.

Given the fear that Primalists have of judgementalness and the premium that Primalists place on the deferring to the "times" for wisdom, "don't judge me" does not merely make claims on public criticism by saying in effect "don't publicly criticize me, "don't judge me" also makes claims on the mind by saying in effect " don't use your mind to judge me or anyone else with any yardstick that extends beyond yourself and/or the times". In this way, "don't judge me" is not just part of Primalist dialogue ethic, it is also part of a Primalist "thought ethic". "Don't judge me" is a statement that no one, not even the Primalist himself, should use the mind to judge beyond what is being decided by the collective id. In the context of primal desires, one should not allow one's conscious intellect to judge so that the primal desires that are being ratified by the "times" can have free reign to be expressed.

This is why "but I feel like it!", when spoken by a Primalist as a justification for his actions, is a corallary to "don't judge me". Speaking as the Primalist, my feelings have spoken and, as long as my feelings are within the boundaries of what is correct for the times, my feelings and the behavior that flows from them are a better and more authentic expression what is real and true than your judgements about me. As such, speaking as the Primalist, the unfettered expression of my feelings has the claim to public space, while your contradicting opinions do not.